Ship of the Line: An Unlikely Hope
by Oxnate
Summary: Xander Harris is very unlikely hero. Possibly only ranking just above the person he dressed as for Halloween. SotL Challenge Response. YAHF.
1. Chapter 1

Ship of the Line: An Unlikely Hope

By Oxnate

I do not own Star Wars, SG-1, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Most of the technical specs come from their respective Wikia sites.

Challenge response: on TTH. Challenge Summary: On Halloween Xander Harris, chosen favorite of Janus the God of Chaos, wears a costume of a an important scifi character, one inexorably linked in the psyches of millions to a specific ship. When Ethan Rayne casts his spell on Halloween night he gets more than he bargained for, as Janus's favor upon Xander brings forth his Ship of the Line, anchoring it to his reality. With memories of another life, skills not his own, and a powerful vessel at his disposal, Xander must take hold of his destiny.

A/N: Post 9/11 world. Also, YAHF. I'm skipping most of the usual Halloween scenes.

* * *

Chapter 1.

Darth Lord Vader looked around at the backwater planet he found himself on, his black mask showing no hint of surprise at suddenly finding himself on another planet instead of a dying Death Star. Ignoring the chaos around him, he activated the computer in his left arm to tell him the coordinates of the planet he was on.

A few seconds later the computer replied that he was nowhere in the known galaxy. The computer also supplied some additional information in that his personal flagship, the Executor, was in orbit above this planet and hadn't crashed into the Death Star. He looked up, but the clouds obscured the outline of his capital ship. He immediately radioed the bridge, but received no response. Growling in frustration, _if anyone is up there, they had better have a good excuse for not answering my summons,_ he thought. He sent a request through his computer for a shuttle to be launched on auto-pilot to pick him up. A few moments later and the computer spit out a new bit of info. It seemed there were a number of storm troopers in the immediate vicinity. He sent orders for them to converge on his position.

A nearby scream pulled him from his musings. Two aliens he did not recognized were attacking two human women, one of whom was already unconscious. He sent out a bolt of Force-lightning that hit both aliens and drove them away.

"Thank y-" the girl thanking him devolved into a gurgling sound. "Vader!" she said in awe that quickly turned to fear. "Oh god. Please don't hurt us!"

"Lawful citizens of the empire need not fear me." He tried to reassure her. Though he knew he had a an intimidating presence and a fearsome reputation. "Unless you are rebels. Are you rebels?" he put a little Force into his last words to encourage her to tell the truth.

"No!" She immediately shook her head. "No rebels here."

"Very well then. Do you have someplace nearby you can take shelter from the attacking aliens?" he said as the first storm trooper arrived. He checked his computer, the shuttle was almost ready to launch. It would be about 10 minutes until it landed. "Accompany these women for the next 5 minutes as they make their way to their shelter. Warning shots first. We don't wish to become embroiled in a war outside of the empire. Shoot to kill only if they get within 10 meters. Understood?"

"Understood Lord Vader." the soldier saluted. "Come along." he told the women, helping the now awake woman to her feet. The three of them headed off with the redhead in the lead. She stopped 30 meters away and looked back on him, a thoughtful look on her face before continuing.

The shelter must have been fairly close, Vader thought. The trooper made it back in only 8 minutes. "They made it to shelter safely?"

"Yes Lord Vader. They also picked up another female and brought her with them after I scared away the alien chasing her."

"Well done." Vader complimented then looked up to see his shuttle landing. He and his troops embarked and Anakin took the helm. The act of piloting calmed his turbulent thoughts as they broke through the atmosphere. The path to his ship was actually a welcome challenge as this particular planet's atmosphere was almost choked with satellites and space junk. A capital ship would have to clear most of these blockages before being able to land here. Only something the size of his shuttle would be able to make it through unscathed. Once he was docked, he and the six storm troopers marched to the bridge.

The troopers checked every nook and cranny before reporting that it was completely free of lifeforms. "Very well. Split into three teams. Take the first team and find the security office. Cameras will allow you to check the rest of the ship more efficiently than you could on foot. Report back when you've found the office or if you contact any life forms on this ship." he ordered and the troops headed off to do as he ordered. He looked to the other three. "The next group is to run a quick inventory on this ship. Food, weapons, ammunition, and fuel. I want a quick estimate of the supplies. Understood? The last group is to scan the planet we left and see if you can find where the hostile forces landed. See if we can support the humans from orbit without causing undue collateral damage." the soldiers marched away to complete his orders. Vader sat down in the command chair and stared out at the stars to contemplate his situation. Stranded in an unknown galaxy with a ghost ship. A powerful ship, yes, but without a crew to run her, she would be almost helpless against any real attack. And then their was the planet itself. Even from orbit, he could feel that the planet was strong with the Force. And it wasn't the people. The planet itself was strong both to the light and the dark side of the Force; with where he and his men had found themselves the strongest area under the dark side. It was something to consider once they knew where they were. He typed into the command console to have the more powerful computer and sensors of the ship scan the stars both to record their position and to compare to any known star systems.

After that, he ran a diagnostic on himself and his life support suit. All in working order, he also did another test of his Force powers by levitating his lightsaber to his hand and activating it for a moment. Satisfied, he sat back down to wait for the troopers' reports. In the mean time, he checked what the computer listed as the supplies that ought to be aboard.

If he could have, he would have whistled. The ship was listed as being fully outfitted. In all her time in the service of the empire, she never been fully outfitted. The cost to build her and all the associated weapons was enormous and the cost to fully outfit her had simply been more than was needed as her mere presence had been enough to quell unrest wherever she appeared. The number of star fighters and ground fighting machines were incredible. Enough to conquer half the galaxy if he had the manpower. And the amount of food on board would feed a full crew of 300,000 for at least six years.

A wave of nausea crashed over Xander Harris as he regained control of his body.

* * *

A/N: That Vader would help an ordinary citizen in distress is not AU. Every ruler needs people to rule and he can't do that if aliens or monsters eat them.

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

"O'Neill here." the colonel answered his phone. DING DONG! His doorbell rang at the same time. He tucked his phone under his chin and went to hand out candy. "Hang on a sec." he said as he went to the door. He held out the candy bowl as he listened to his caller. "I'll be right in." he said as he closed the door and hung up.

* * *

O'Neill was the last one to arrive at the briefing. All of SG-1 was already there along with most of the senior staff of the base.

Hammond didn't waste any time on greetings. "At 1835 local time, a ship was spotted in orbit over earth."

"Goa'uld?" someone asked.

"This is nothing like any Goa'uld ship we've seen. The basic design of a long ship with a relatively narrow cross section is more reminiscent of an Asgard vessel though this is unlike anything we've seen before. The largest Asgard vessel we are aware of is the O'Neill Class, which measures one and a half kilometers in length." Hammond put up a photo of an O'Neill Class ship on the screen. He then juxtaposed it with a photo of the the new ship. "This new ship measures _nineteen_ kilometers in length."

"Is this a joke, General Hammond?" Teal'c's brow creased.

"No son, this is not a joke." the Texan replied. "Is there something you know about this ship?"

"That ship is the Executor. It is Darth Vader's personal ship." Teal'c stated. "Though, I was under the impression that the Star Wars films were fictional."

Hammond turned to look at the suddenly familiar ship. "So was I. So was I." he whispered.

* * *

A search for information on the once fictional ship turned up two airmen who were considered uber-geeks by their peers. Charles "Chuck" Grimes and Morgan Bartowski were friends and maintenance workers. Even super-secret bases need janitors. And both immediately recognized the photos presented to them.

"Well, it's definitely Executor class." Morgan said. "Sir." he belatedly added.

"Executor _class_?" General Hammond led.

"Yes, sir." Chuck said. "The Executor was the first-"

"Tied." Morgan interrupted.

Chuck sighed. "...one of the first of it's kind." he pointed at the photo. "But this marking here marks it as part of Vader's Death Squadron fleet, which makes this_ the_ Executor, sir." he reasoned.

"Where is this from?" Morgan asked, still looking intently at the photo. "I've seen every scrap of deleted footage ever made and I've never seen the Executor from this angle." a beat. "Sir."

"Morgan." Chuck warned his friend. Morgan hadn't taken to the military like Chuck had. He got in trouble sometimes because of it.

"No, it's alright." Hammond assured him. "We need to know everything you two know about that ship and it might help if you knew why. That photo was taken by one of our satellites after that ship suddenly appeared over the western coast of America earlier tonight."

Morgan got very serious suddenly. "Vader's ship... real."

"The President has ordered us to initiate contact with this ship within the hour. For now cloud cover is obscuring it from view from the surface but that won't last forever and as soon as it's visible, panic will quickly follow." Hammond said. "First thing I need to know would be the best way to try and contact them. Then I need to know what kind of technology we are likely dealing with."

Chuck and Morgan then went into (figurative) hyperdrive. Communication was either completed by hologram, video conference, or radio. Morgan even had a list of Imperial radio frequencies at his house. A team of SF's was deployed to retrieve that list. Then they set about confirming the ship's size and going over the likely 5,000 weapon emplacements on the ship. It had an estimated 2,000 turbo lasers and the same number heavy turbo lasers as the ships' main weapons. It wasn't known how that would stack up against Goa'uld tech but it was estimated that there was more power in a heavy turbo laser blast than a Ha'tak barrage normal turbo lasers might be less powerful per shot but could fire much faster. Not to mention that the Executor also had heavy ion cannons similar to Asgard technology, as well as torpedoes and missiles. They had tractor beams and ways of opening bays to space while keeping atmosphere inside. However, they had no known beaming technology, which was the first bit of good news General Hammond had heard that night.

A ship of that size carried at least 144 starfighters. But both Morgan and Chuck agreed that the Executor probably carried 1,000-2,000 TIE (Twin Ion Engine) fighters of various classes. Morgan started going in depth in the likely capabilities of the TIE fighters versus death gliders but Chuck interrupted.

"I think you're forgetting about the ground troops. The Executor carried 3 prefabricated bases to drop on various planets and 50,000 storm troopers with blasters. Along with plenty of walkers and speeders. And their heavy turbo lasers aren't going to blow us up like the Death Star could, but an orbital bombardment could destroy us in a day without having to land any troops if they wanted." Chuck warned.

"I'm getting that picture." Hammond assured him. "I've sent a message to the Asgard, though we haven't heard back yet."

"We won't know for sure until they face each other, but even the O'Neill class is only as big as a standard starcruiser. That's the kind of ship that captured Leia's ship in the first movie. This thing is over 10 times that size." Chuck said.

"Well, they haven't made any moves yet. Maybe no one's home and we can claim her for ourselves." Jack said brightly.

"That's not quite true, Colonel." Hammond said. "A shuttle from the ship landed outside of LA and then returned to the ship not long after it first appeared. I would have mentioned it earlier but haven't had the chance."

Just then the SFs returned with Morgan's list of frequencies.

* * *

"Oh boy." were the first words out of Jonathan's mouth.

"Everyone who is or was recently a storm trooper, report to the bridge immediately." Darth Vader's voice crackled on his com link.

"We're on our way." one voice said.

"So are we." said another.

"What? Are you crazy? I'm not walking back into the clutches of a Sith Lord." a whiny voice Jonathan recognized as Tucker's younger brother said.

The trooper next to Jon balled his fist. "Andrew. Shut up and meet me on the bridge." Tucker ordered. "There's no use in running. He just heard everything you said anyway."

"He did?" Andrew asked pitifully.

"Yes, he did." Vader's voice confirmed. "And I'm looking forward to meeting you, Andrew."

"Eeep." was the last message over the coms.

* * *

Jon and Tucker were the second group to arrive and got to watch the third group comically arrive. It was clear that Andrew was in that group as he was being pushed along by his partner.

While watching that unfold, Jon had a revelation that Luke Skywalker had been wrong. You could see out of the storm trooper mask quite easily if you knew how to operate it. It had a Heads Up Display (HUD) that could show infrared, UV, polarized, night vision, and a couple other options.

Once Andrew was in place and being held by his brother, Vader spoke. "If you would all please remove your masks so I can see your faces." he politely requested.

Jon quickly followed suit.

"Jonathan." Vader recognized him. And "Tucker." once the other had gotten his mask off.

Andrew had his taken off by his brother and Warren took his off but two of them did not. The two that were partnered with Warren and Andrew.

"You first." One of them ordered.

Vader ignored them. "You must be Tucker's brother, Andrew. Do you think you can control your fear or shall I have a medical droid issue you a relaxant?"

Andrew seemed to realize he was being offered help and not being threatened. "I- I- I'll be okay, Lord Vader."

"And you look familiar." Vader said to Warren. "Do you go to Sunnydale High, too?"

"Yeah." Warren said, slightly surprised at being recognized. "Warren Mears. Senior."

"Well?" Vader turned his attention back to the storm troopers who still had their helmets on.

"You first." One of them repeated.

"My mask cannot come off." Vader informed them. "This is no longer a costume for me. My body has been changed by whatever magic brought this ship into existence."

"Oh," the soldier said.

The one who hadn't yet spoken in the group spoke after he took off his helmet. "My name is Riley Finn. You'll have to forgive my friend, Forrest Gates, here. He's slow to trust people. We're both seniors at UC Sunnydale and we'll be starting our graduate work next year."

"A little old to be Trick-or-Treating, aren't you, Riley?" Vader asked.

"Frat party." Finn said simply. "Actually, we never arrived. We need to check in with our... friends soon so they don't get worried and send out a search party."

"Yes, I have friends I need to contact as well." Vader said. "But first I need your reports. Then we can decide how to move forward."

The reports were quick. Except that Andrew apparently got over his fear and now was hard to shut up. The only surprise was that Andrew and Forrest's group found a mining ship full of equipment that the Executor had never shipped out with originally. But at least it solved the fuel problem, except for needing people to run the equipment and extract the material.

* * *

Xander explained to his soldiers (he was already starting to think of them as his, even if they weren't really) about who he was. He gave them a quick spiel about magic, vampires, and demons being real. The four native Sunnydalers gave each other looks to see if the others were buying it before sighing in relief that the others now knew the truth about what was out there. The other two also shared a look, but it was very different. Through the Force, he could clearly feel that they were hiding something and weren't particularly surprised at what he told them. But that could wait.

"It seems that all of us have people who would be pleased to know that we aren't dead. And most of you, no doubt, want to go home." Xander said and took a deep breath from his ventilator. "I'm not going home, though. I just paid a very high price in exchange for this ship and I'm not willing to lose it. I'm not sure yet how I'll crew it, but you all are free to go if you want. You'll have to leave your blasters and your uniforms here, because like the Terminator arm, they could adversely affect the future of the world if they fell into the wrong hands. But, if you choose to stay, you'll become the first officers of this ship-to-be-renamed-later. And I want to assure you that despite appearances, I'm not going to force choke anyone for failure."

"That's it, you're just going to let us go?" Forrest asked.

"As long as you don't try to steal anything, you are free to leave. I can have a shuttle ready in 15 minutes if you like. But I'd appreciate it if you'd wait for everyone to decide and save the fuel for separate shuttle runs. But if you stay, you'll be swearing allegiance to me. I've quite literally given an arm and a leg for this ship and a Force choke will be the nicest thing I do to mutineers." Xander warned.

"Um, Mr. Vader, uh, Xander, sir?" Andrew said warily. Pointed to a flashing light on a board. "We're getting a radio signal."

"Check it."

Andrew flicked a switch and voice started speaking. "-gate Command calling the Executor. This is Stargate Command calling the Executor. This is Stargate Command calling the Executor..." the message repeated.

"Answer them."

"This is the Executor, the most powerful ship in the Empire and-" Andrew was cut off when Xander Force pushed him away from the controls.

"Jono, why don't _you_ answer them." Xander said.

Jonathan sat down where Andrew had been. "Stargate Command, this is the Executor. We read you loud and clear. How can we help you?"

There was silence for a moment before the radio crackled to life with a new voice. "This is General George Hammond of Stargate Command. To whom am I speaking?"

"Lieutenant Jonathan Levinson, 2nd in command of the Executor." Jon was initially surprised at the words but repeated them quickly enough.

"Well, Lieutenant, we down here were hoping you could tell us how you got where you are right now and what, exactly, were your plans now that you're there." The General asked, evenly.

"Well, how we got here is probably magic." Jon said automatically into the radio then turned to Xander. "What should I tell him are our plans?"

"Tell him we don't have any plans yet but we come it peace. That should help." Xander advised.

Forrest scoffed as Jon relayed the message.

"Something to add, Forrest?" Xander asked.

The two college kids looked at one another. The... less tan one spoke. "Mind if I take the mic?"

Xander motioned him to the chair.

"Stargate command, this is Captain Riley Finn, US Army rangers." he rattled off his serial number. "Please confirm that Stargate Command is Air Force codename Project Blue Book."

"Where did you hear that name?" Hammond asked. "Even the name of that project is highly classified."

"Sir, I'm part of the army's codename Project Initiative. Myself and another man in my platoon were overtaken by the spell. Now, with all due respect, sir, you have a very powerful ship in orbit over your position. Now is not the time to quibble over 'classified'." he spat the last word.

Silence stretched on for a minute. A woman's voice came back, "Please hold for a moment." After another minute the General was back. "Yes. This is Project Blue Book. And if you know that name, you might be able to guess what we deal with."

"Aliens from outer space?" Riley asked.

"You're kidding me. Aliens are real?" Xander asked in disbelief.

"You're in a spaceship, dude." Forrest answered.

"Yeah, but ours was created by magic." Xander defended.

"Yes, for the past several years we have been meeting, trading with, and occasionally fighting aliens from distant parts of the Galaxy." Hammond confirmed.

"How?" Xander had to ask and Riley relayed it.

"A device known as the Stargate. Many of these Stargates were seeded on habitable worlds throughout the galaxy. They allow almost instant transit from one Stargate to another for humans or small vehicles from one side of the galaxy to the other." Hammond explained.

"Well if aliens really do exist, that changes things dramatically." Xander thought out loud. "Tell them we need to think about this and will call them back on this channel later."

* * *

A/N: When I thought of two geeks, I immediately thought of Chuck Bartowski and Morgan Grimes. Their names were changed to protect the innocent. (Me) The intersect does not exist. These are not those characters, just needed names for geeks.

A/N: SG-1 is no longer on Netflix at this point, so I'm not fixing this in any specific SG-1 timeline.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: You guys gave me so many great ideas that I actually had to re-write everything I had already written. Sometimes the entire chapter.

Ok, well there was that. But the real truth is that I got caught up exploring the XKCD comic 1110. (a href=" /1110/"Click and Drag./a) If you have time, (And I mean a lot of time) you should check it out. There are two velociraptors hiding in the grass to the far, far left and at least 2 X-wing fighters that I found. (One is pretty far down a tunnel, one is in the sky.)

* * *

Chapter 3.

"Thank you for getting them to admit to the presence of hostile alien forces in the galaxy. That does simplify our choices." Xander said to Riley. "However, you know I can't allow you to be part of my crew now, don't you?"

"He did just help us a lot." Jon offered.

"No, he's right." Riley cut him off. "Conflict of interest. We've taken an oath to the United States of America. Not Xander Harris, whoever you are. I knew I couldn't stay here so I did what I could to ensure that any negotiations between yourselves and the US Air Force wouldn't have any misunderstandings."

Xander called a droid. "Bring up two Ensign uniforms to the officer's bathrooms. Ensure that they don't keep anything of their present uniforms." he said, looking at Forrest.

"Why you looking me when you say that? Cause I'm black?" Forrest accused.

"No, it's because you've been belligerent and I can sense that you wish to steal something. Don't. It might hurt negotiations if I had to kill you... Probably not though." Xander warned.

Suitably warned, the two soldiers were led to the bathrooms by another droid.

"Are you sure you're not Vader? Oww!" Andrew asked before being elbowed in the side by his brother.

"You'll have to forgive him, he's... well we're not sure what's wrong with him. Borderline Asperger's, maybe. But he knows a lot about Star Wars. Stuff that isn't in any of the movies, facts and figures that might be useful." Tucker offered.

Xander sighed in his suit. "Fine. But keep him quiet unless he has something constructive to share or I'm sending him back down to Earth, Ensign Wells. And take that blaster away from him before he shoots someone. Waving it around like that. Were you going to stay as well, Warren?" when Warren quickly nodded, he was initiated as Ensign Mears. "Congratulations, you three are the first three officers in the Galactic Empire."

"What about me?" Andrew whined.

"Civilian consultant." Xander said quickly. There was no way he was giving that kid control over so much as a protocol droid.

The two soldiers returned in the gray uniform of an imperial officer and stood at attention.

"Good. The shuttle is ready for your trip. It will set you down a few miles outside town." Xander informed them and they walked away, following a droid. Then he turned to Jonathan, "Contact the Stargate Command. Let them know we'll be launching the shuttle."

* * *

"We wanted to let you know we're going to be launching a shuttle shortly to return two army soldiers to Earth." Jon repeated.

"Are they alright?" Hammond asked.

"Well, if they're anything like me, they have a headache from the memories this spell crammed into our heads, but they seemed fine when they left." Jon didn't wait to clear that one with Xander.

"Tell them any further negotiations will have to be in person." Xander said. He didn't like talking to new people over the radio like this. It was impossible to read their feelings through the Force without knowing them better. He had to meet someone face to face to get a read on them. "They can send..." he debated for a moment. "four people. The shuttle will touch down outside NORAD in... what? 25 minutes?"

"Looks more like 30." Jon said before relaying the message.

* * *

George took one look at his premier first-contact team and said. "You heard the man. Get your gear and get a move on!"

* * *

Colonel O'Neill had often felt like he was living in a Sci-fi movie ever since his first step through the gate onto Abydos. And now he was on a ship from Star Wars being led to the bridge by a C3 unit. The entire team froze as they came to the bridge and heard a sound that every one of them recognized. The slow 'whoosh' sound of Darth Vader's ventilator. He and Carter immediately snapped up their submachine guns while Teal'c leveled his staff weapon, shadowed by three stormtroopers leveling their blasters at his team. Daniel didn't draw his weapon and was instead trying to diffuse the situation, which was fairly normal. What was new was a boy in a stormtrooper uniform but no blaster and no helmet trying to do the same thing.

"He's not evil! He's not really Vader!" he yelled. "Well kinda. But it's more that Xander got the body and memories than anything. I mean, he did kind of Force shove me, but it wasn't anything that my brother, Tucker, hasn't done."

"The Force can have a strong influence on the weak minded. Darth Vader may already have corrupted him. We cannot believe anything he says." Teal'c reminded their team.

"Maybe." Daniel allowed. But Darth Vader might have also destroyed our planet without negotiating. We could at least hear them out. They invited us here to negotiate, so they probably don't just want to kill us. Maybe we could put our guns down first?"

Jack and Sam shared a look. Teal'c spoke though. "The Darth Lord Vader is not an honorable warrior. He cannot be trusted."

* * *

"You think you can judge Vader based on 6 hours of movies?" Xander asked. "I'm not even sure how much screen time Vader had. But it probably wasn't a full hour. And the movies aren't completely correct either. You know that line after Luke loses his hand?"

"Luke, I am your father?" Jack offered, lowering his gun slightly.

"Actually, the line is 'No. I am your father.' O'Neill." Teal'c corrected, not lowering his weapon.

"Samuel L. Jackson is right." Xander nodded. "For the movie. But... What Vader actually said was 'Luke, I am your father.' Which is weird in the way it gets misremembered correctly. Maybe there really was a gin joint in North Africa where someone said 'play it again, Sam'." Xander shook his head to clear the tangent. "But the point I was trying to make was that you didn't see the _person_ that was Darth Vader. What you thought you saw was the villain of the movie, but what _I_ remember was a father desperate to find his son. Nothing else mattered once he found out his boy was alive. And, yes, he did some evil things to clear obstacles out of his way, but Vader never set out to do evil."

"Obi-wan Kenobi and the Jedi were honorable warriors." Teal'c objected.

"From a certain point of view." Xander quoted as his reply. "From Vader's view, they were fanatics who kidnapped his wife and either killed her or at least allowed her to die. Then they stole his children and brainwashed them against him.

"I realize now what Obi-wan was trying to accomplish by giving up in that last fight – and it wasn't to become a ghost-Jedi. The first time Luke ever saw Vader, Vader killed Luke's mentor. And Obi-wan made it look like cold-blooded murder, too. He was a crafty old man." Xander insisted. "Because after finding out about Luke, Vader didn't give a shit about the Empire or the Rebellion. He was only looking for his son after that. His son happened to be hanging out with rebels, and if he had to go through them to reach his son, then so be it.

"Although, torturing his friends probably wasn't the best way to win his son over. Even if it did bring him to Cloud City." Xander admitted. "He was taught that way by the Emperor and was too used to dealing with politicians and underlings. People he usually motivated by fear and intimidation. Much like he was treated growing up as a slave."

There were looks of shock on the people he was speaking to. Even Teal'c looked a little unsure.

"Didn't know that, did you?" Xander said. "Well, I hear Lucas is making the prequels. We'll see if that little tidbit makes it in."

"What about the fact that y- Vader turned his son over to the emperor?" Jack asked.

"Vader truly believed the dark side to be stronger. His son's offer to come back to the Jedi again was laughable to him. He tried several times to make Luke his own apprentice, but he could only push so far before the emperor would see it as open rebellion and punish him. What he wanted was just what he said, 'To rule the galaxy as father and son'. What he was willing to settle for was Luke supplanting him as Darth Sidious' apprentice. He only turned on his master once it became clear that the emperor would kill his son.

"Now, are we going to negotiate or have a shootout?" Xander asked, looking at Teal'c.

"Teal'c." O'Neill said.

The big man's jaw muscles twitched fiercely but he did put up his weapon.

"That's not Earth made is it? Is it alien technology?" Xander asked.

"It's Goa'uld." Samantha Carter confirmed.

"May I see it?" Xander asked.

O'Neill didn't like giving up weaponry like that but Daniel had a point, they had no reason to kill them and they weren't exactly outnumbered by much here. He nodded to Teal'c. The staff weapon suddenly flew sideways to Vader causing him and Sam to snap their weapons up. But the stormtroopers didn't react this time. Nor did Vader as he inspected the weapon. Quickly finding the catch that opened the 'mouth' of the weapon. He aimed it at the ceiling and fired.

"Interesting. Energized plasma. Quite the hand cannon." said Xander before gently floating the staff back to Teal'c. "And you, since you carry that and have an interesting tattoo, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're an alien? But you're familiar with Star Wars?"

Teal'c didn't respond so Daniel jumped in. "Teal'c is a Jaffa. His race has been enslaved by the Goa'uld. But Teal'c here chose to join our cause several years ago and has been helping us fight the Goa'uld ever since. He's a big fan of the Star Wars movies."

Xander clenched his fist at the mention of slavery. "I _used_ to be. If I could do it over, I think I'd have gone as Han and gotten the Millennium Falcon." he sighed. "What is it you want from us?"

"Well, for starters, the existence of aliens is still Top Secret. We'd like you to move your ship away from Earth, please. At least to the dark side of the moon." O'Neill asked politely.

"I suppose seeing Darth Vader's ship in orbit might cause people to worry." Xander nodded. "Then again, imagine me like this in a news conference telling people that aliens are real." He laughed, it was painful and a little strained. "I don't agree with keeping something like this secret forever, but I'll comply for now. Men, begin moving us behind the moon. Anything else?" The stormtroopers and several droids Xander had already reprogrammed went to chairs along the walls to begin moving the ship.

"Well, that was the big thing for today. We needed to get that done before the cloud cover broke." O'Neill couldn't believe they'd gotten exactly what they needed just by asking politely. From Darth Vader of all people. "Long term, we were hoping you'd share some technology with us that would help us defeat the Goa'uld." He could feel a slight shudder as the ship began to move.

"No." Xander said.

O'Neill tried to hide his wince. Advanced civilization were never willing to share.

"Not until the truth about aliens has been shared with the world." Xander finished.

"It would cause massive, worldwide panic." Carter insisted.

"Perhaps. But people will surprise you. Telling them there is someone 'out there' for them to fight is often a good way to unite them." Xander stated. "Let me tell you what I want and then we shall see if we can help each other. I want to fight these Goa'uld. I detest slavery in every form. However, as you can see, I'm a little short staffed at the moment." he waved at the 3 and a half storm troopers in the room.

"Let's just _say_ we were willing and able to help you with that. How many men would you need?" O'Neill led.

"In the Empire, the number of men assigned to this ship was designated as an army group. Over 350,000 men. The Force allows me to compensate for many more men than you would believe, but really we should have at least 50,000 men just to run everything smoothly. Bet even then, we'd have to tie some gun emplacements together in order to free men up to fly the fighters." Xander informed them. "There's no way I could go to war with less than 250,000 men. Not counting a separate group of 30,000 that would be needed to mine the asteroid belt for fuel."

"280,000. Is that all?" O'Neill joked.

"Luckily the ship came supplied with foodstuffs to feed a full crew for three years." Xander was purposely overestimating the men he'd need and understating the supplies they had. "I have a proposal for you. I need 400,000 people. Not all of them have to be soldiers, just able to follow orders. After training, I will take them for a three year tour to fight the Goa'uld and keep them supplied myself. You will have three years to tell the world about aliens and to produce the supplies to resupply my ship for its next tour.

"In return, you'll get not only a powerful ally against the Goa'uld. But after three years, you'll get plans and examples of everything but my most powerful weapons. And you'll get people experienced in their use and repair. Anyone who doesn't re-enlist." Xander finished his overture.

"That's an interesting offer." Jack said cautiously.

"Well, think it over. I could always go to some other countries if you say 'no'. English speakers would be nice, but the droids could teach us Russian or Chinese in a couple weeks." it was a threat. Take the offer or your enemies will.

"We've reached the dark side of the moon, sir." Jon said from his console.

"Wonderful. If you wouldn't mind escorting our guests back to their shuttle." Xander ordered as SG-1 was led back to their ship. Once the team from Earth had cleared the bridge, he ordered prob droids to be sent to every corner of the solar system to detect any invader as well as possible mineral content of each of the planets. He also programmed one probe to follow the shuttle back to Earth before disengaging in the upper atmosphere. Once they were off, he headed to his hyperbaric meditation chamber. He knew it was the only place he could take this mask off.

* * *

A/N: Xander's thoughts on the prequels are what really happened... From a certain point of view. Slight differences from Prequel canon.

A/N: Who do you think of when you think of scary, bald, black guy? Samuel L. Jackson. Do not own.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

"Sir, it appears that SG-1 hit something on reentry." the tech said.

"Are they okay?" the duty officer asked.

"Course appears unchanged, sir." the tech reported.

"And the object they hit?"

"Trajectory shows it should hit the Atlantic. 90% probability of 20 miles off shore from Virginia Beach." the tech answered.

The duty officer nodded. "Keep an eye on it. Let me know if the plotting starts moving further inland." he went off to see if any warships were in the area and would need to be put on alert.

* * *

Xander sat in his hyperbaric chamber and carefully removed the helmet and facemask. His cybernetic fingers seemed to know what to do even though this was technically his first time doing this. Once the facemask was clear, he stretched the muscles of his face and mouth marveling at the tactile feel from hands that he knew were robotic. Then he lifted the mirror and tried not to wince. It was definitely his face, not Vader's. But the scars were very close to what he'd seen so many times watching Return of the Jedi, though his skin still held a fairly healthy tan for now.

He had known it as soon as he'd gained control of his body. All this really was was confirmation. But still, it hurt. Painful memories too. Hurtful memories to a young man who had idolized the Jedi. That the Jedi had thrown Anakin out for the crime of marrying the woman he loved. That they had kidnapped Padme and attacked him. Chancellor Palpatine had intervened and saved his life. His anger then had fueled the Dark Side and he had willingly helped the new emperor execute order 66; the destruction of the Jedi order.

No, not him. Vader. He was Xander Harris and he had never done any of those things. And with an outsider's perspective, things occurred to him. The perfect timing of Palpatine's intervention, the fact that he'd had an order ready that all clone troopers knew but no Jedi did. Anakin had been tricked, Xander realized. He felt his anger growing. But he quickly squashed it. He was not a Sith. But he wouldn't be bound by the Jedi's ridiculous code either. He would be something new. They'd probably call themselves Jedi just because people associated Jedi with Goodness. And he realized that he'd automatically thought 'they' for this new order. Because he knew without a doubt that he had to pass this knowledge on.

* * *

"Well?" General Hammond started the briefing.

"We met Darth Vader." Jack grinned.

"Tell me you're joking, Colonel." Hammond insisted.

"Sort of." Carter jumped in. "We met a man dressed as Darth Vader. He had the voice and he appeared to use the Force to examine Teal'c's staff weapon. But he said some things about having the memories of Vader. When he referred to things in the movie, he talked about Vader doing them as if that was someone else."

"Teal'c?" the General looked to the Jaffa. He was the one at the table who loved Star Wars the most.

"I must re-watch the movies, General Hammond. The man on the ship made me question many of my beliefs about the Jedi and the righteousness of their mission." Teal'c said.

"There were three stormtroopers with blasters and a fourth without a helmet or a blaster. He called Vader... Sander? Said that he got his stuff by magic." O'Neill said.

Carter scoffed.

Hammond looked worried. "Yes, they said something about magic over the radio. Did you question them more on that?"

"Didn't have a chance. We were kind of in a stand off at that point." Jack looked at Sam. "And I didn't want to start an argument about magic. Not when they were so willing to move to the dark side of the moon."

"Ah, yes. What did you have to promise for that concession?" George asked.

"Said 'please'." Jack smirked.

Hammond looked around the table dumbfounded. "I'm not sure to be more surprised that that was all it took or that you actually said 'please'." he smirked back. "But good job there. Now, what about technology. Is this, Sander, willing to share technology?"

"Possibly. But you won't like the terms." O'Neill stated before detailing the offer and the not so subtle threat.

* * *

"My advisors tell me your team was able to get the ship to move away before anyone of note got a look at the ship. Well done." The President praised over the red phone.

"Of note?" Hammond inquired.

"A few people got photos or something on their camera-phone but they weren't able to spread the word before it was gone. And any footage they had has already been confiscated. Useful thing, that PATRIOT act." The President replied. "So, were there aliens aboard?"

_Useful but dangerous,_ Hammond thought. _ They'd given themselves enough rope to hang themselves __with when they passed that bill, in his opinion. _ "There were beings aboard. Their explanation for being there was 'magic', and quite frankly, we have no evidence to contradict them. One minute they weren't there and the next they were. They also seemed to know too much about pop culture for them to be aliens. I'm still waiting for the two Army officers who found themselves aboard to get to Cheyenne Mountain for debriefing."

"Ah, yes. The Initiative project. A joint venture between the Army and the NID. If everything goes as planned there, we should be seeing some help from them in combating the Goa'uld in just a few years." The President said. "They're being debriefed by their superiors right now, but I'll make sure they're on the first flight to Colorado once they're done. Anyway, about the aliens or whatever they are. What about technology? Are they willing to share?"

"Possibly. I'm not sure you'll like their terms though." Hammond stated then proceeded to inform the president of 'Vader's terms.

"You mean to tell me that Darth Vader is up there and is demanding an army in exchange for his technology? Fat chance. Do the words 'I am altering the deal' ring any bells?" The President complained. "What's to keep him from turning around and blowing us out of the water? No, we'll just have to take the ship by force. You said there's only five of them, right? Well, just land a boarding party and take them out."

"As for blowing us out of the water, even with his small crew, my experts tell me it would take less than a day for him to wipe out 90% of the human race if he chose to, right now, even with a limited crew. And even our most powerful nukes would be unlikely to even reach his ship. And as far as boarding goes, I'm afraid that's no longer possible, sir. They complied with our request to move behind the moon and are now out of range of the space shuttle. I'm not fully briefed on NASA's capabilities, but I would hazard a guess of a year or two before we could launch anything at the moon. And even then, they would see us coming a long ways off." Hammond cautioned.

"Well, then your team should have taken them out when they heard those demands." the President stated. "They wasted our best shot."

"With all due respect, sir. But I doubt they could have taken the ship. The man up there is NOT Darth Vader, but he does seem to possess all his powers. And this is the best offer we've received to lay our hands on advanced technology." Hammond argued.

"But-"

"Please, hear me out, sir." Hammond cut off the President. Not the smartest move, but it would involve hopefully less arguing. "I've had some of the smartest minds on the planet analyzing the offer and Vader's motivations and they've concluded that he really is from Earth and _wants_ to protect us. But he's just not going to give up his ship without something in return. And technology for manpower is a very common trade between lower and higher technology societies since Roman times, sir. We've done it ourselves many, many times. It's unpalatable to us now because we've been the higher technology society for so long." _Pride goeth before the fall, _Hammond thought, _There weren't any people willing to give out advanced tech in exchange for what politicians would find palatable but the President really didn't grasp that concept. _ "It is the recommendation of the SGC that we accept the offer with the stipulation that we get at least a few examples of the technology before he leaves."

"How are we going to cover up 400,000 soldiers absence for three years?" The President asked.

"Well, sir. He doesn't need 400,000 _soldiers_. In fact, he probably needs less than 100,000 soldiers. That could be covered by the war on terror. The rest would be support personnel that would keep a ship of that size going, and he specifically mentioned miners to mine our asteroid belt for material to fuel the ship." Hammond told him. The President was a smart man, but prone to more knee-jerk reactions than the average politician. If you could get him thinking about things though, he could put his brain to work and he could make very good decisions. And as long as it looked like he was considering this, Hammond would leave out the part about going to the Russians or the Chinese. That would only upset him right now.

* * *

The probe droid Xander had sent into the Atlantic surfaced. Out of the water, it's cross-section was difficult to detect even in the Star Wars universe, much less by Earth tech. It had all the stealthiness of a submarine periscope with 1/100th of the size.

The droid made its way from Virginia Beach up the Chesapeake Bay and came to a stop south of Washington DC. It analyzed its surroundings then picked out the building it was after. The White House. The probe droid was designed to pick up every type of signal possible. The simple tech of Earth was no match for it. It now picked up those signals and fed them back to the ship it came from.

Back on the Executor, Xander looked over the bits of data the droid was sending. Isolating one conversation he plugged the data into a speaker to hear what was being said.

"Well, then your team should have taken them out when they heard those demands." Xander wasn't very active in politics, but he was pretty sure that was the President's voice. "They wasted our best shot."

"With all due respect, sir. But I doubt they could have taken the ship." Xander recognized the soft Texas drawl of Hammond. "The man up there is NOT Darth Vader, but he does seem to possess all his powers. And this is the best offer we've received to lay our hands on advanced technology." As Hammond began his spiel about why it was a good deal for Earth, Xander focused on the spot the droid was picking this conversation up from and found the Force signs of a man pacing a room. Xander focused on him and used Force persuasion on him to make him more open to the arguments he was currently hearing. Xander kept listening until the President had agreed to the general terms of the deal.

Xander gave only a half second wondering if what he had done could be considered Dark. But considering what Vader probably would have done to the man, this wasn't Dark at all. Besides, it would be the best for everyone this way.

* * *

Tucker's brother, Andrew, had gone from minor annoyance to major annoyance once Xander praised him for his part in ending the stand off. He was temped to send him back to Earth permanently. But then the little geek and Tucker managed to hack a communications satellite. Which was how they were all now calling their families back on Earth; Xander from the comfort of his hyperbaric chamber. It would allow him to use his real voice and not sound like Darth Vader. Now came the hard part. Calling Willow.

"Xander! Where have you been? I called your house and your parents said you never came back and you dressed as Darth Vader and he or you cause you were the same person saved me and where are you are you okay?" Willow finally ran out of breath.

"Breathe, Willow. I'm okay. Okay? How are things in Sunnydale?" Xander redirected her. Even without the respirator, his voice was a little rough.

"Everyone's fine. We had a real scare with Spike but- Hey! You're not in Sunnydale?" Willow realized.

"No. I can't come back to Sunnydale. The spell changed me. Permanently. I can't survive without my suit or the hyperbaric chamber I'm calling from right now." Xander danced around an explanation.

"You're Darth Vader? As in really, really?" Willow squeaked.

"Physically, at least. That's the downside. The upside is I got to keep the Force powers and a honking big spaceship." Xander said, trying to sound happy and almost succeeding.

"You're never coming back to Sunnydale." Willow breathed. She couldn't believe it. She'd never see Xander again.

"No. But if you want, you can come with me." Xander offered.

"What? But what about school? And your p- Or my p- Well... What about Buffy?" Willow finally asked.

"Willow, I know about the filled out GED packet you've had in your desk since 6th grade. And as much as I'd love to have Buffy come with, she has that whole 'sacred duty' thing on Earth. Along with months of nothing to fight. A Slayer on a spaceship with nothing to fight doesn't sound like fun to me." Xander answered. "And now, to sweeten the pot, I just got done talking to the Air Force and it turns out that there are honest to goodness aliens out there. And they keep humans as slaves. So, as soon as we get a crew, we're going to go fight them and free the slaves."

"I'm in!" Willow said instantly. Then added, "Can you give me some time to say goodbye to Buffy? She's going to be heartbroken to lose us both like this."

"Take as much time as you need. It's going to be a while before we can leave." Xander assured her. "We don't really have a phone number you can call back up here, so I'll just call back tomorrow night."

"Okay, I'll talk to you then." Willow hung up.

Xander disconnected and dialed another number. He was in for another very similar conversation with Buffy. Minus the inviting her along part. The would be painful, though hopefully less so than it would have been in person.

* * *

"Andrew, what did we say about you and blasters?" Xander asked.

"This isn't a blaster, just a blaster pistol." Andrew defended, waving the weapon around. "It's not like I'm-" the blaster went off.

Xander watched the energy bolt sail past Tucker's head then he Force grabbed the pistol from Andrew.

"I''m sorry!" Andrew cried.

"This is a recipe for unpleasantness." Xander held up the pistol to Tucker. "Does he understand that?"

"I understand." Andrew insisted but was ignored.

"He understands... just sometimes he doesn't comprehend." Tucker tried to explain.

"Well, I'm glad we've made that distinction." Xander turned to Andrew. "No touching guns. Okay?" he laced the command with as much Force power as he dared.

Andrew nodded, near tears. "No touching." before running out of the room.

"I can't have a loose cannon like that on my ship. You keep him under control, or I'll put him back on Earth." Xander warned.

"There's no one there for him." Tucker said. "I've been raising him for the past year, since our parents disappeared."

"I can't run this ship on sympathy. Keep him under control or he's gone. Maybe someplace other than the Hellmouth, but gone." Xander said.

* * *

A/N: Huge shout out to Firefly there.


End file.
